a dream.

Last night I dreamt that I was leaving {the next day} for a trip somewhere exotic. In my dream I was doing last minute stuff for the trip and was then going to pack. When I got to the packing part of my dream I decided to try on the new clothes I had bought specifically for the trip. To my horror none of the clothes fit me AT ALL. They were so tight I couldn't even pull shorts all the way up my legs. 

I was mortified in my dream.

From there I proceeded to head to any store that I could find to try to buy new clothes but every store was out of summer clothes, of course, because it is November. 

As I was driving from store to store in my dream I started to notice that it was getting harder and harder to drive the car because I was getting bigger and bigger in my dream. I began to have difficulty turning the steering wheel because my arms were so big. I couldn't move my foot from the gas to the brake because my legs were so big. Finally it just became difficult to get into or out of the car because all of me was so huge.

I have struggled with my weight all of my life. At times I can accept that my body is what it is and at times I can't. Right now I am really struggling with my body image and self-esteem. I realize that I need to do something about the situation but for some reason I don't have the motivation to actually do it.

I need to find the motivation.

Comments

[Felecia]

1.

Wow...I SO relate to this post!! I've never been a ballerina, if you know what I mean. I'm all about getting healthy - which may or may not mean "thin" for me. But sometimes I wonder how I let my self image be formed by magazine ads, television, my mother's struggle with her weight and those pesky little third graders that called me "fatty" when I was a kid.

[Kimberly Winter]

2.

Welcome to my nightmares! lol, sometimes not being able to fit into clothes isn't a dream...
Thanks for sharing!

[Fun Mama - Deanna]

3.

What a horrible dream! I find that being hard on myself is no motivation at all, though. I wish you success in finding what you need.

[Sharyn Carlson]

4.

I'm sorry you had such an unpleasant dream. I think it's an issue that a lot of women can relate to. Wishing you good luck on finding that motivation!

[Julie Johnson]

5.

Sharyn, thanks so much for the kind words! I do believe a lot of women have similar issues which is sad.

[Julie Johnson]

6.

I totally agree, I always tend to be hard on myself but am working on being kinder. Thanks for your support!

[Julie Johnson]

7.

LOL, I know I have the same problem in reality as well!

[Julie Johnson]

8.

Felecia, I totally know what you mean! I was always the biggest girl in the class, height and weight, and I always hated it. I think you are so smart to focus on being healthy and accept what that means for YOUR body! Thanks for the inspiration.

[Jennie]

9.

You girl - - you are beautiful!! If we were all meant to be the same shape and size we would be like Lego/Playmobil people. Everyone has an optimum size - - If you are fit and healthy - - thats the size you should be!
I wish you every success my dear in finding the motivation to be who YOU WANT TO BE. Hugs J xx

[Sarah B]

10.

Hey Julie, that's a pretty harsh nightmare. I find crafting stops me eating more than I have to, if that's your area of difficulty!
Re that 12 days class you asked about, it's totally self-paced and there are SO many ideas. They're such creative ladies, and lovely too!
COme join us :)

[Julie Johnson]

11.

Jennie, you are so very kind! It's people like you that make me want to put myself out there like that! Thank you for your kindness!

[Julie Johnson]

12.

HA! Eating too much, too often, etc. As for the 12 Days class...I just joined :) Thanks for the inspiration!